One of the things that I find funny in life, is the amount of assumptions that we make on a daily basis. And for some of us, on a moment by moment basis. And the even funnier thing is, that most assumptions that are made, are so far away from the actuality of what’s really going on that a huge portion of us are living in a ‘fairytale’ land of illusion, delusion or myopia.
As life has ticked by, one of the things that I’ve been trying to hone, is to give up making assumptions. And to live in wonder, so as to expand my mind, as opposed to contractions of fixation … because how do we ever really know what’s going on? And most often than not, when we make an assumption about someone else, it’s usually untrue. 99% of the time.
The number of times I’ve been alarmingly surprised about a business that goes in to receivership when I assumed that they must be incredibly successful. And it baffles me with thoughts of … how on earth could a company like that go bankrupt?
Or when the veil of illusion is lifted off the life of someone who I assumed was happy, but the reality being somewhat different when I hear a snippet of their reality.
Here are a couple of other examples that I hope illustrate how nuts it is when we make assumptions …
I don’t have children
Some people assume that it’s because I have a health issue which prevents me from physically being able to conceive.
Some people assume that it’s because my husband ‘shoots blanks’.
Some people tell me that I should freeze my eggs, because of the assumption that I’ll regret it if I don’t.
The reality is, that my ‘woman bits’ are in perfect health, as are my spunki husband’s ‘man bits’. I simply do not wish to procreate this lifetime. Not now. Not tomorrow. Not in 10 years time. There was a time that I was keen to have children, but that moment passed, and now I’m happy with the life that I have chosen to create and know in the depths of myself that I’ve made the ‘right choice for me’.
When I was 21 I tried to kill myself
Some people thought I must have had a terrible childhood.
Some people thought a horrible and sudden event must have occurred to trigger me to make that choice.
The reality is, that my childhood was charmed. Truly. I could not have wished for a more happy and innocent childhood with parents who cared for, loved and adored me. Brothers who loved me, and we did the ‘normal’ sibling things together. Friends who I adored like sisters. No sudden and horrible event happened in my teens. It was sadly ‘normal’, in that it’s ‘normal’ to get blind drunk and take drugs each weekend. Fun-at-the-time, yes. Normal, in the true sense of that word (the norm), yes. But horrible, no.
I’m not one to get upset by any of this, as I find assumptions humorous. Especially considering that whenever I make an assumption, I later on find out that the reality isn’t exactly what I presumed. 99% of the time.
But, it is a strange thing don’t you think?
It’s only when we become aware of what we do, that we can choose to change it. Or not. It’s simply a choice that each and every one of us have inside.
So, I’ll leave you with one of my favourite excerpts that a dear friend sent to me after I made an assumption about something:
Before you judge others or claim any absolute truth, consider that …
… you can see less than 1% of the electromagnetic spectrum and hear less than 1% of the acoustic spectrum. As you read this, you are traveling at 220 kilometres per second across the galaxy. 90% of the cells in your body carry their own microbial DNA and are not “you”. The atoms in your body are 99.9999999999999% empty space and none of them are the ones you were born with, but they all originated in the belly of a star. Human beings have 46 chromosomes, 2 less than the common potato. The existence of the rainbow depends on the conical photoreceptors in your eyes; to animals without cones, the rainbow does not exist. So you don’t just look at a rainbow, you create it. This is pretty amazing, especially considering that all the beautiful colours you see represent less than 1% of the electromagnetic spectrum.
How do you see it?
love & hugs
Sam Sargent, founder of Be genki