All relationships – whether they are with our family, friends or lovers – require a certain amount of energy so that they remain happy and healthy and contributive. The one relationship, however, that we often forget about is the relationship we have with ourself. And from my point of view it’s the most important of them all, as it’s the one from which all other relationships grow.
Caring for other people and forgetting about our self has been at the forefront of my mind for many years, as it is the foundation on which Be genki was created from. It’s a concept that can be seen in all areas of life and the best way I’ve found to show the insanity of it all is with the following example … how many people treat their pets better than they do themselves.
Think about the way in which some of us treat our pets … we tell them how cute they are, pat them gently, and play with them, constantly saying lovely positive words of praise. We ensure they are well-fed and exercised each day.
Now, think about the way in which many of us treat ourselves … we look in the mirror and judge our body, face, complexion. We sit on the couch watching TV as opposed to taking our bodies out for a walk in the fresh air. We criticise our actions and engage in negative self talk such as “how could I be so stupid?” or “what’s wrong with me?” or “my butt’s too big”. We eat frightfully unhealthy foods that offer little nutritional benefit. We overeat and place stress on our organs.
Does this sound as strange to you as it does to me? Crazy, huh! Would you like to become more aware of the relationship that you have with yourself and identify if there are any areas that require a little improvement?
Speaking from experience, here are a few key areas that may require tweaking:
Become aware of your self talk. When you look in the mirror, what do you say to yourself? Do you judge and criticise your body? It’s not a very nice thing to do, and neither is it very nurturing or productive. What if what you see as flaws are considered beautiful attributes by others? And why do we place so much significance on what one person or another thinks about physical attributes? Everyone is different and that’s what makes us all so uniquely beautiful.
Here’s one to laugh at. When I was in my teens I used to blot my lips out with concealer because I didn’t like their fullness. Seriously. Is that nuts or what?! So yes, I now love my lips and choose to speak a lot more kindly to my body when getting ready in the mirror each morning.
Another one to watch for is being fair on yourself. Many of us beat up on ourself because we think that we’re not as successful, happy or good at certain things in life as we ‘should’ be. The reality is, that, we all make mistakes and have ups and downs throughout life. It happens.
If I look back on all the times when I felt not good enough at X, Y or Z … gosh … how long have you got to listen to them all? And I know I’m not alone on this one. But still, it never ceases to amaze me just how cruel we can be to ourselves. Trying to be the ‘perfect’ lover, mother, friend, role model, partner. Whilst juggling 1000 balls in the air.
For me personally, this is a big one. I’m the kind of person that has a zillion and one dreams, ambitions and targets that I would love to fulfil this lifetime. So, yeh, sometimes I have to remember that I’m not actually superwoman and that the numerous brands and businesses that I manage + the desire to remain fit and active with daily beach walk, swim, yoga and gym + cooking 2 home made meals each day for my husband and I + tending to the veggie patch + converting our paddock in to a native flora and fauna sanctuary + being present in my marriage with quality time together each day + keeping the house tidy with clothes clean and ironed + keeping my legs fluff free and perfectly waxed + looking down at my tootsies to pretty polished nails + reading books to further my growth … is … well … a lot to put on one person’s plate. So I have embraced the art of being imperfectly perfect. I’m a crap gardener. The reality of anything getting ironed quickly is far fetched. A more realistic scenario is 2 weeks worth sitting on the ironing board until it’s a MUST do necessity. Aliens will not come down and abduct me if my toenails aren’t painted for a week or two. And, well, reading books is reserved for a moment on the weekend, because as much as I love the idea of reading each night, I much prefer snuggling up to spend the evening with my husband. So, as they say … somethings gotta give. And when it comes to my life, there are certain things that have a higher priority than others.
If you’re looking for a little more inspiration on this topic, Brené Brown wrote a fab book called Daring Greatly that I just have a hunch you might love.
LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE
It’s a cliche, but it can often be very difficult for a lot of people – so there’s never a better time to start practicing than now. When you have a situation that is not working well for you, do you define it as a disaster? If so, you’re potentially blinding yourself from seeing what other information and possibilities are available. What if you asked, *how does it get any better than this? or *what else is possible? Questions such as these invite the universe to provide other possibilities, awarenesses and people to help you create a different outcome.
* I learnt these two questions during an Access Consciousness class, and they have radically transformed the way I approach situations by encouraging me to stay in constant wonder. Not to come to conclusions. To remain open. To be willing to try different things to reach a desired target. And to know that it is my point of view that creates my reality, not the other way around.
Last but not least, if you do experiment with any of the above, please remember to be gentle, kind and patient with yourself as you’re learning new ways of thinking, doing and considering.
What act of kindness can you do for yourself today to show that you care about YOU?
love & hugs
Sam Sargent, founder of Be genki